


victor harvey // steve nikiforov

by bustanutgleeson



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: But someone did, Crack, Family Feud - Freeform, Listen...., M/M, Pure Crack, and now this exists, buy my silence permanently for only $200000, i dont know who let me put my hands on this fandom, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9398477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bustanutgleeson/pseuds/bustanutgleeson
Summary: victor: yuuri i..................need to tell u somethingyuuri: oh god whatvictor: *pulls off a mask and wig*announcer: ITS TIME FOR FAMILY FEUDyuuri: *incoherent screaming*--------------------------------------------------------------------------basically i said "what if victor was secretly bald" and then i was like "wait no what if he was steve harvey" and now were here





	1. 何がファック？

**Author's Note:**

> i google translated the japanese and russian so pls correct me if im wrong
> 
> 何がファック？= what the fuck
> 
> 脳たりん = dumbass
> 
> сука = bitch

victor turned on his phone and opened the phone app

before he finished thinking, he tapped yuuri's contact and the phone was ringing

almost immediately, yuuri picked up

"何がファック？" yuuri groaned

victor replied "i dont know what the fuck you just said but knock off the attitude"

"damn okay"

"ANYWAY, i wanted to know how soon you could be here i need to tell you something"

"its 3am you dumb bitch"

"did i say that was an excuse? no. there's like........minimal traffic"

"THATS BECAUSE IT'S THE ASSCRACK OF DAWN"

"whatever. be here in 30"

"what the entire fuc-"

before yuuri could finish his sentence, victor hung up. yuuri had considered ignoring his fiance and going back to bed, but that would just give victor more of a reason to make practices even more of a pain in the ass, so he got out of bed. after putting his glasses on and putting on a random pair of shoes (he didn't care which pair, since it was pitch black and the poor kid can already barely see for shit), he hopped in the car and headed to victor's hotel room. why, he wondered, had victor decided to stay in a hotel after the grand prix final will never make sense.

yuuri pulled up to victor's crusty ass hotel (yurio's words, not his) and went to victor's room. victor answered the door instantly and hurriedly pulled yuuri inside

"the more you pull shit like that the more you'll seem like a drug dealer 脳たりん"

"whatever сука. just sit the fuck down already"

"jesus christ just fucking tell me"

victor took a deep breath. this is the hardest thing he's ever had to do.


	2. change of scenery

yuuri rolled his eyes. "what, do you secretly have a husband or something?"

victor sighed melodramatically because he's victor.

"well, actually, it's a lot bigger than that. i think i should just show you"

with his right hand, victor reached for his neck and started pulling upwards. with his left hand, victor removed a wig. almost instantly, victor was transforming into what yuuri feared most: steve harvey.

before yuuri could say anything, the hotel room furniture started moving and....was that a stage crew? where was he? suddenly, a crowd was wheeled in and the room was completely redecorated to look like a game show. the crowd started clapping to the beat of the music that seemed to be coming from nowhere, and then, a man's voice came from the ceiling and announced "it's time......for faMILY FEUDDDDD GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR HOST STEVE HARVEY" and next thing yuuri knew, ~~victor~~  steve came jogging out.

"well, welcome to family feud everybody, im your man vic- i mean steve harvey and boy have we got another good one for you today. from tokyo, japan, it's the katsuki family!!!"

yuuri looked to his left and lo and behold, his family was there. how stev(ictor)e had managed to get them there is beyond him but what's done is done

"-and from various parts of russia, it's the nikiforov family....team....thing!!!"

it was literally just makkachin, yakov, and yurio

"everybody's here tryna win themselves a lot of cash and possibly driving outta here with a brand-new, head-turning ford fusion," steve gestures to the katsuki and nikiforov tables respectfully, "alright yuuri and makkachin let's go"

yuuri and the poodle walked up to the buzzers. this was going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally analyzed the beginning of family feud to write this if you know how i can put god in my heart lmk


	3. well shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit guys i didn't realize it had been this long.....

i'm not really involved with this fandom anymore, which is probably pretty obvious based on the neglect this fic has endured. this was a fun thing i did when i was in a very short term relationship which ended right around this time last year. i don't have any bad memories tied to this fic, but i just don't have any interest in continuing it. i'm in a relationship, and an AP student (including AP english, which you probably couldn't tell by my lack of capitalization and proper grammar in general lmao), and almost in college, so there isn't much time for this in general, especially now that AP exam season is nearly upon us. i'm sorry i kept everyone waiting for so long, and i often wonder what would've become of this fic. maybe i'll do a little follow up after YOI season 2 comes out. who knows!


End file.
